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Dr Kathleen Hartford

Dr Kathleen Hartford

THE HIDDEN SELF

The hidden self…simply a work in progress.

Social media is an interesting beast. We see beautiful pictures of your friend’s vacation, their perfect families and their beautiful homes. Just the other day I was having coffee on my deck overlooking the beautiful pond and waterfall with the sun beaming in and life looking good. I received a lot if likes and a few ‘I’m coming to your house for coffee!’

But the truth is, anyone in my area knows, we’ve had so much rain so the sun was a novelty, and if you were to step out of my back door, where I usually enjoy my morning coffee you would see a completely different picture. A picture of a messy work in progress. An area that will one day be beautiful, and will be featured on my morning Facebook feed, but not the picture I choose to put forward that morning.

Life is exactly like this. We all have those areas in our life that are a messy work in progress. If we are living a conscious life, we might be aware of them, if not they can go hidden for years interfering with our relationships our jobs and most importantly our joy.

They are not the part of our personality we show to everyone, it’s the mom on her last nerve with a short temper, It’s the worker who’s feeling inadequate for the task, it’s the man who was devastated by an abusive father and is initially so charming only to implode when he feels unsafe. It’s those shadow selves that we hide. We all have these shadows so let’s just accept them and be curious and loving toward them.

Know when you see those perfect pictures on social media that there is another side to the story that isn’t always perfect, a back side or a hidden self that is still a work in progress.

When you meet that potential great relationship accept that at some point a personality aspect, that you don’t currently see, might rear its shadowy head. It’s not bad it just is, when you see it, provided it is not dangerous in any way, accept it maybe even love it. In embracing these aspects of ourselves and others we provide an opportunity for our relationships to go deeper, to expand more fully and to grow.

When you see the shadow in yourself speak to it, give it voice, perhaps journal its existence into the light so it does not need to hide in the shadows any longer.

Remember we are all a work (of humanity) in progress. We all need help and acceptance, whether it is of ourselves or others, so give space for growth and move toward completion so our human selves can meet each other and be able to say I see you as the beautiful, in progress soul, you are and I love you for all of it!

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